Food Torture Journal (aka Master Cleanse)

Okay. Here it is.
I decided to partake in the Master Cleanse.
The quick skinny:
1: Slowly ease into a liquid diet (three days).
For 10 Days:
2: Start each morning with a liter of warm water mixed with 1Tbs. sea salt. It is like flushing the toilet, only your gut is the bowl.
3: Drink only a concoction of water, lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper all day. Yum.
4: Drink a laxative tea at night and watch the magic happen.

As I am 1/3 of the way through, and DYING, I thought I would publish my journal early, so that the added accountability of having people read it keeps me on the path.

Read with a bowl of ice cream in your hand, or a BIG PFAT BURRITO if you dare. My tummy says Grrrr.


April 1
(The only day to start something as ridiculous as this.)
Day One/Ease In: Living food today. Munching. Avocados, apples, snap peas, bananas. Is it supposed to be this easy? This is yummy.
132

April 2
Day Two/Ease In: Liquid soup today. Slurping. Butternut squash. Spicy Thai. Vegetable broth. Cashew curry ginger. Dreaming of popcorn and toast. Perhaps it isn't going to be this easy. Still yummy.
131

April 3
Day Three/Ease In: Orange and tangerine juice today. Drinking. Tea. Drinking. Researching. Learning. Raw/living factoids and recipes dancing in my head. I have concocted the most delicious raw burrito. It is so yummy, with fresh salsa and guacamole. But alas, back to fresh tangerine juice.

Headaches today. Big day tomorrow. Not excited about the SWF.

Ready, Set, Go.
129

April 4
Day 1: Okay. Whoever said that giving yourself the runs is a good way to clean out your system is loony. But alas, even with the lovely side effects, I have endured day one of the (to be said as if you were announcing a WWF wrestler) Master Cleanse. Actually, the lemon/syrup/cayenne drink is pretty yummy. The SWF is not. Drinking it in front of a mirror made it easier, for whatever reason. Tomorrow I will have my lemonade ready as a chaser.

Hungry today, but not too fixated. Except when I heat up a slice of quiche for Littleman and I have to compost the sun dried tomato on top because he wont eat it, and I feel like a refuge that would kill for that little scrap of concentrated tart and sweet tomato. Nope, not too fixated.
129

April 5
Day 2: Oh my gosh I Am Dying. I am So Hungry and my belly is Rumbling and I have the runs and I am dreaming about avocados and wakame salad and jalapeno poppers and that darn burrito from ease-in day 3!!

Yes, I am ready to quit. No, I will not quit. Ready, yes. Quitting? No.

The Smooth Move tea is making my belly cramp. I am not taking it tonight.
The SWF was a little easier today. Still tastes like the ocean.

Spent about an hour researching raw food recipes today. Thought it would curb the appetite, which it did a little. A Little Something Psychological, kind of like smelling the dinner I cooked for Littleman, except I did put a soybean into my mouth and chew it up, then spat it out. WaaaAAAAAaaaaHHH! I am Hungry!

I have mad all kinds of plans, like stopping this when my VitaMixer 5200 arrives (aah aah ahh) or just eating avocados tomorrow (yuuuuummy). I am obviously not fixated on 10 days like I was 5 days ago. If I count the ease-in I am 1/3 of the way through this! No, no. I will endure. Bring it, Day Three!
129


So, as you can see, this is fun. And fun is good.

Burrito, anyone?